15 de novembro de 2007

What if men cry?



I got the idea for this post because of the national campaign "Os Homens Também Choram" promoted by the association Viver e Vencer, an association dealing with victims of breast cancer. The victims are obviously women, but what we tend to forget is that, even though this is a female problem, there are countless men behind these women: their husbands, companions, fathers, sons, brothers, male friends, lovers (let's not be cynical here). One thing in common: they are all suffering!

At long last an association reminds society that it is time to help men that are in pain and do not know how to deal with it. They also need psychological support to face this disease. They also need people that listen to them. They also need to know they are not alone. And yes, what if they cry? Are they less men for that? (I still remember when Dad cried). And they shouldn't be crying alone. They shouldn't be hiding the pain.

Of course that "os homens também choram" is a cliché too much too used. It wouldn't be my choice of words if I was leading this campaign. But it serves its objective. It is there to bring awareness to a problem nobody talks about: men and a female cancer. Breast cancer kills four women each day in Portugal. Every year 1500 women will die from it. Every year there are 4000 new cases of breast cancer. How many men are also affected? How many men are there behind these women?
And do we see men in those flashy campaigns with all the stars hand in hand with the survivors? Are men interviewed because they helped a woman fight cancer? Do you see men going on tv to talk about their experience or to give their messages of hope to other women or men fighting the same war?
I think you are answering for me!

18 comentários:

quintarantino disse...

I guess you have a point here. Breast cancer (as other diseases) brings suffer and pain to many. You have just named them on your post.
But sometimes we forget some of those you are suffering with the illness of a loved one.
And what´s worst is that sometimes we dont't even care about them or want to give them a minute or two of our friendship to listen to their whispering screams.
Touched. Once more.

quintarantino disse...

Sorry... I´m back. I don't see no problem in a man crying. I've already cried. From joy and pain.

Blondewithaphd disse...

Dear Quinn,
No problem in men crying, the problem is the mental attitude of some people. And the problem is also when men cry and there's nobody there.
"I think therefore I am" / I cry therefore I am human. Do you want me to rephrase using "you" instead of "I"?

Peter disse...

Penso que é um problema que afecta o casal. A mulher sob o ponto de vista físico e psicológico.
O receio de se ver abandonada pelo companheiro devido a ter sido sujeita a uma mastotomia vem juntar-se ao sofrimento físico e ao terror do cancer se espalhar pelo organismo.
O homem o que pode fazer? É um problema íntimo do casal e o mais que se pode exigir ao homem é carinho e compreensão e não que venha para a praça pública.

NuNo_R disse...

Hi "blondie"...

Of course that men cry, and sometimes they cry a lot...

But in this case, the tears that are spread away, are one infime part of the suffering of thw women who has or had cancer...

My father died with a cancer and i cried a lot... and i still cry about it...


kisseS
nice weekend

antonio disse...

Just great! I mean: your approach. Well men do cry, but they are too selfish, most of the time they just don’t care.
Your angle of approach is powerful, because it speaks directly to our hearts. If other people are conscious of our pane we might listen to them as well.

(Did some one forgot to tell you: it’s weekend, relax girl!)

Joshua disse...

Pain is not divisible, indeed.

Joshua disse...

Had to link it! So I've linked it!

bluegift disse...

Choram todos, homens, mulheres, crianças, amigos, vizinhos, e outros solidários. O que me incomóda mais nesta campanha, é que seja ainda necessário lembrar que "os Homens também choram" e que esta frase ainda tenha o peso emocional de que a campanha se está a servir. Será que algum dia ainda nos vamos libertar deste preconceito?

bluegift disse...

Vergessen nicht heute ist Sonntag ;)

Blondewithaphd disse...

Peter,
I understand your point perfectly. But I wasn't realy thinking about mastectomies and how it all affects the couple. I also think that's too private. I was thinking about Men as a whole and how we never think they suffer too.

Blondewithaphd disse...

Hi Nuno,
I'm deeply sorry about your father. We all cry and the pain goes both ways.

Blondewithaphd disse...

Dear Antonio,
Let me not refer to the content of your comment but the way you did it, ok? You have something of the literary critic in the way you write! You got me there!

Blondewithaphd disse...

Joshua,
Just a word of thanks!

Blondewithaphd disse...

Liebe Blue,
So right you are! To think people still need campaigns to be reminded of the obvious...

Mach Dich keine Sorgen, ich hab' es nicht vergessen! Viel Spass für Dich auch!

quintarantino disse...

isto parece a Torre de Babel...

Joshua disse...

Lady, keep on spicy steamy fueling this you-have-a-point-there joint. Good joint, I must say.

indomável disse...

Blondie...

Never really wrotte any tails in english before, but this post of your has spiced up my fingers... so, here goes nothing:

"He had always been an absent husband.
He knew she was always there, she'd always be there... Why think about her, why go home earlier?
Well... why not? - she asked him one day, tears in her eyes, suitcase on one hand, her whole soul in both hands..."

Want to know more? Go to my blog and find out. Can't promise to write it all in english, but I'll try!